Young Willie McBride...
 
Well Joel says “write” and David Gerard says “write” and all the other books about it that I’ve read say “write” too.  Yes, if you want to be a writer then writing helps.  I’m Simon Norburn and I’ve written the odd thing on this site before – but I thought that I should set myself a target of one product a month. That’s one written product for wargames.co.uk.  I am not going to restrict myself too much as to topics but each article will be consist of subtle, careful chosen words, tailored to aid you, the reader into becoming an old fashioned bigot like myself.
 
 
Today’s topic – The Great War.  The War to End War.  The war without which most of our fashionable trendies would have no first class examples with which to lambaste and assault our critical senses with nothing but unadulterated guilt for even recognising the war, let alone wanting to game it for Gods sake!I am  not going to get into the great divide between reality and games – though one common thought is that a feather glove is erotic, a chicken perversion.   Instead I want to look at a little used weapon in wargames, propaganda.
 

Now most gamers are quite expert at telling a good tale, as long as it involves themselves.  I myself have been known to enthral[1] as many as one listener with tales of strategic genius, tactical innovation and miraculous dice throwing.   Yes, my excuses for loosing are as good as anyone else’s.    But propaganda is so much more than that.

Few wargamers, and only one to my recollection in a Nationals, would dream of using doctored dice.  This would not be the strategy of choice. Dishonest, disreputable, immoral, not to mention the risk of getting caught.  And anyway, where do you get them from?     Yet this sort of behaviour is not only indulged in, but positively promoted by the anti-war apologists.  Let us look at the words of a man who was given the Australian peace award in nineteen eighty six, the international year of peace.

And what was this man given his award for?  For blatant propaganda.  For writing words that he should have known (and for all I know, did know) were untrue.  Then to take a perfectly good tune and waste it, no worse than that, prostitute it to support a myth and a lie.  So, let us damn Eric Bogle through his own words.

 
Well, how do you do, Private William McBride,
Do you mind if I sit down here by your graveside?
And rest for awhile in the warm summer sun,
I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done.
 
The start of the iconoclasm.  Here’s this bugger, waddled all around  a great war battlefield and can find no better place to sit down than plonking his fat arse on some poor squaddy’s last resting place.  Well we already knew he was a propagandist and an anti-war campaigner, but we now discover that he’s an inconsiderate sod who can’t even have the courtesy not to sit on a grave!
 
Lets see if we can identify this William McBride.  We have a name, age, rank, a date and place of death.   Well a search at the Commonwealth War Graves online database http://www.cwgc.org/cwgcinternet/search.aspx (truly a place of honour) leaves us with some 5 Private W McBrides, of which only 1 is a William. 
 
Private
12/23965
22/04/1916
21
Royal Inniskilling Fusiliers
United Kingdom
D. 67.
AUTHUILE MILITARY CEMETERY
Note the 21.
And I see by your gravestone you were only 19
When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916,
Well, I hope you died quick and I hope you died clean
Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?
 
This is a bit of a problem.  There were no 19 year old Private William McBrides killed in 1916.  Not one.  Still it does make answering the last stanza simple. 
 
No, I didn’t die quick and I didn’t die clean,
I didn’t die at all, you propaganda machine.
 
chorus
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the pipes lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er you as they lowered you down?
Did the bugles sound The Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest ?

Not one of these things happened for William – but yes they did, and still do.  Every year at memorial services throughout the world, on armistice day, and national days such as ANZAC day these things happen as people the world over show just how much they still care for those that fought.

And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined?
And, though you died back in 1916,
To that loyal heart are you always 19?

Yes – I was the only gallant knight of our mob.  Or at least that is the way that the press reported me.  Actually I was like most other 19 year old blokes – too young to marry and flirting with most pretty girls I met.  Sadly Nelly Jones wasn’t one of them.  She remained a spinster after her young man died working on the railroad.

Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Forever enshrined behind some glass pane,
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame?

Those to whom I am a stranger are those who never bothered to know me in life, and feel guilty now that I am dead.  Does that include you, Eric?

chorus

The sun's shining down on these green fields of France ;
The warm wind blows gently, and the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished long under the plough;
No gas and no barbed wire, no guns firing now.

Eric, are you blind or something?  In your walk which has left you “nearly done” did you not notice the small piles of unexploded shells and bombs that are harvested every year?  Lots of those are still filled with gas and many still explode every year.   That wouldn’t sound as good though, to contrast with the next verse.

But here in this graveyard that's still No Man's Land
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man,
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned.

Countless?  Absolutely not.  Each and every one of these graves and each name on the memorials, the huge ones and the minute ones, are recorded and honoured.   Blind indifference – tell that to the Ypres Fire Brigade at the Menin gate, who barring the Second War (and it’s not to difficult to guess which Nation stopped them) have played the Last Post every night of every year. 

Oh well, when you’re writing propaganda you have to stick it in different, don’t you Eric?   And just for the figures, butchering a whole generation would have meant more deaths than happened in every war in the whole of the twentieth century.

chorus

And I can't help but wonder, now Willie McBride,
Do all those who lie here know why they died?
Did you really believe them when they told you "The Cause?"
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
 
Why they died?  Oh yes – they knew that alright.  Just as they knew when they volunteered, for every man jack of them did volunteer, that they probably would die.  And in nineteen fourteen when they volunteered they didn’t think they were fighting the war to end wars, that was a myth added in by an American politician, in 1918. 
 
You’d recognise the politicians Eric, like you they have problems with little things like the truth, and facts.   Still, if the cause is important enough a small thing like the truth can’t be allowed to get in the way.  (In case you’re wondering, this is pretty much the same justification as the Germans used when they invaded Belgium in 1914).
 
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain,
For Willie McBride, it all happened again,
And again, and again, and again, and again
 
All done in vain? So the French speak German, as do the Belgians?  The Czar is still on the thrown of Russia , Britain is an imperial power?  Oh and we have freedom of speech, which allows one Eric Bogle to write a great song about a great myth, the myth of one Willie McBride, who never died once, let alone again, and again, and again, and again, and again.
 
Nah mate, pull the other one and write a decent war song.
 
In my research for this article I came across two versions of the song which tend to indicate the views of others than myself.  I could find no author for the second but the first is attributed.
G'day, Eric, old mate, this is Willie McBride,
I'm callin'  today from across the divide
Of years and of distance, of life and of death,
Please let me speak freely with my silent breath.

You might think me crazy, you might think me daft,
I could have stayed back in Aussie where there wasn't a draft,
But my parents they raised me to tell right from wrong,
So today I shall answer what you asked in your song.

chorus

Yes, they beat the drum slowly, they played the pipes lowly,
And the rifles fired o'er me as they lowered me down,
The bugles played "Last Post" in chorus,
And the pipes played "The Flowers of the Forest ."

Ask the people of Belgium or Alsace-Lorraine,
If my life was wasted, if I died in vain.
I think they will tell you when all's said and done,
They welcomed this boy with his tin hat and gun.

And call it ironic that I was cut down,
While in Dublin my kinfolk were fighting the Crown.
But in Dublin or Flanders the cause was the same:
To resist the oppressor, whatever his name.

chorus

It wasn't for King or for England I died,
It wasn't for glory or old Empire's pride.
The reason I went was both simple and clear:
To stand up for freedom did I volunteer.

It's easy for you to look back and sigh,
And pity the youth of those days long gone by,
For us who were there, we knew why we died,
And I'd do it again, says Willie McBride.

chorus

© Stephen L. Suffett 1997

"Willie MacBride's Answer To Finbar Furey"

Well, hello Finbar Furey, this is Willie MacBride
I can see you as you sit there down by my graveside
And I loved your song about me, sure it made me sound great
But there's one or two things that I'd like to put straight
I was 40 not 19 as you sang in your song
You subtracted the years on my gravestone all wrong
And the way that I died it was foul & obscene
You see I choked on a chicken bone in the Army canteen

CHORUS: They didn't beat the drum slowly, they didn't play the fifes lowly
Didn't sound the Dead March as they lowered me down
And me coffin was plywood & porous
And the band was having a picnic in the forest

Yes, I left both a wife & a sweetheart behind
When the wife she found out, well she near lost her mind
Though I gave her of my best, I never treated her cheap
But in her faithful heart I'll be forever a creep
Ah, but now I'm a hero & your song was so kind
I'm big, strong & handsome in everyone's mind
But I scrawny & knock-kneed, I'd frighten the crows
I'd a cauliflower ear & a wart on me nose

CHORUS
Well, now , Finbar Furey, I can't help wondering why
You sit talking to gravestone with a tear in your eye
And sure, look at you now, you've had such an attack
I bet this is the first grave that's answered you back
You're as white as a sheet & you're shaking & sick
Do you know something Finbar, you're as thick as a brick
This is not the voice of a spirit long lost,  it's your ol brother Eddie
I'm behind a white cross.

 Unattributed

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[1] Ancient English word inelegantly translated as bore.